that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
farters have to be the big spoon...
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
