i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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