And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
