I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Randomize
