I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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