I'm eating all of the evidence.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
