Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
