it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
