He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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