I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
