So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
