What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Your cock deserves a montage
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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