did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
