soooo we both peed the bed last night...
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
