If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
