Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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