i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
