remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
