Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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