Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
My vagina just recognized that song.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
