I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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