you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
