Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
