We should be called the Road Head Warriors
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
