Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
