His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
