I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Randomize
