I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
