How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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