just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
