hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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