you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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