How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
