toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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