I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
