I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
