absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
