i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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