i barfeds in our rink
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
