Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
