Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
