Yo dont text me then not text me
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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