The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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