she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Never underestimate the power of titties
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
