One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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