i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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