I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
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