About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
