we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
