Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
She's the barista slut.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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