Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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