Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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